Snapshots
by maggsm
Summary: A very short story that will be a few quick chapters about my favorite pair Adrian/Natalie.
1. Chapter 1

AN: So I am horrible and never have time for this anymore. But I had this idea for a scene pop into my head, and it didn't fit in my current story (which I have not abandoned it just requires more time than this will), but then a few more ideas for moments between my favorite pair came to me that I could put together as a short fiction. I plan for this to just be a few chapters long, and each chapter is going to be super quick like under 1000 words each is the current idea. I would love to know what you guys think.

Before the ambulance stopped, Adrian was pulling the back doors open, and Natalie let herself fall into his arms. It was not the first time they had hugged; it was not the first time Adrian had held her, but it was the first time Natalie remembered feeling different. She didn't feel like he was her neurotic boss, in that moment, he was her friend, he was strong and keeping her safe. From that moment on Natalie noticed that, more and more, Adrian had been like a friend than like the crazy man she had first met years earlier.

…

Less than a month later, Natalie spent a chunk of her savings and a lot of her time in order to make Adrian's childhood birthday wish come true. It had been worth it though, to see that look in his eye and the smile on his face. It was worth it when he relaxed by her side and fed her a bite of his own slice of cake.

…

Not long after that, Natalie had almost lost him. They had told her he was going to die, she couldn't believe it, no matter how grim the doctors had made it seem. She had been right, Adrian did not die. Instead, he was brought back to life. He was finally able to breathe and relax and be happy. Twelve years earlier, he had been killed along with Trudy, and now he was brought back to life.

…

Steven didn't understand. He and Natalie had been dating for months now, but he still didn't seem to get her. She was looking for a man that wanted her, that cared for her, and that she could enjoy spending time with, Steven checked all those boxes, he was also handsome, and smart and she had known him for years. With all of that it didn't seem right though. He didn't seem to understand her, he didn't like when she made plans with friends instead of seeing him, especially if that friend was Adrian. He didn't understand why she would want to spend time with her insane boss if she wasn't getting paid. The night Julie broke up with her boyfriend and sat crying on the couch, Steven didn't understand that Natalie canceled the date they had. Natalie was tired of not understanding and one night after having the same fight they had been having for the last month she ended it. Natalie didn't go home from there, she didn't go see TK, she didn't go to a bar, she went to Adrian's. Natalie had said she was just there to hang out with a friend, but Adrian knew something was wrong.

Natalie broke down and confessed that she had ended it with Steven. Adrian hugged her without pause, he didn't twitch, he didn't try to pull back, he just held her. When Natalie was ready to talk, they sat on the couch, and he listened as she told him everything. Natalie confessed that she wasn't even upset that she broke up with Steven, she was more upset that another relationship had ended. Natalie shared that she was nervous that what she had with Mitch was a one-time thing, that no one was lucky enough to find a love like that two times in a lifetime. 'You will find it,' Adrian had assured her. He told her that it wasn't luck, that she was amazing and there was someone out there for her. For the rest of the night they talked, when it got late, Natalie found herself curled up under a blanket, but still there on Adrian's couch, with someone that did understand her.

AN2: This one was really just to get the set up, but they will all be short like this.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Thank you for the reviews, let me know if I should keep writing this.

Adrian looked up as he was cutting up potatoes. Natalie and Molly were sitting down just a few feet away from him in the dining room, and Natalie was laughing. It was the little laugh who's sweet tone reminded him of bells ringing out with joy. When Natalie laughed like this, her nose scrunched up, and her eyes twinkled, the glee she felt radiated to everyone around her. Adrian looked up and watched as his best friend and stepdaughter enjoyed their time together, and he knew his life could not get any better than this moment.

…

"Erh," Natalie grunted as she tried desperately to remove one shoe using the other foot while balancing the bags in her arms at the same time.

"Are you okay?" Adrian asked as he hurried to his door to check on Natalie. Seeing what she was trying to do Adrian rushed over and took the two bags, Natalie was clutching holding them both with one arm before offering her his other.

"Thank you," Natalie gratefully smiled then placed a hand on the proffered arm to steady herself as she quickly removed her sky-high heels. Once her feet were bare, Natalie wiggled her toes and let out a sigh, "that's better."

"Good," Adrian said, "now why don't you go relax on the couch, I will put everything away."

Natalie scurried over to the couch while Adrian disappeared into the kitchen. Within a few moments, Natalie was snuggled under the big grey blanket she loved and had the remote in her hand flipping through the channels for something they would both enjoy.

By the time Adrian finished putting the groceries away, Natalie had found a documentary that she was half watching. Adrian didn't hesitate to join Natalie on the couch, and it seemed completely natural when she picked up the end of the blanket and threw it over his lap so he could enjoy its warmth and comfort as well. Ten minutes later, they were both zoned out half-listening to the narrator talk about the disappearance of the rain forest when Natalie flinched. Adrian didn't comment but started to watch Natalie out of the corner of his eye. He noticed her squirm and frown.

"Are you okay?" Adrian asked for the second time that night.

"Yes," Natalie said, "sorry, I just have a love-hate relationship with my shoes."

"But you aren't wearing your shoes," Adrian pointed out.

"Not anymore," Natalie agreed, "but the damage was already done, and both of them hurt, but now the right one is cramping on top of everything else."

Adrian gestured with his hand, "move them up here."

"What?" Natalie asked in astonishment.

"Move them up here, I can help," Adrian offered, "just, could you keep them under the blanket?"

Natalie smiled, glad to see her. Adrian was still in there and even more pleased that she could put her feet up. Careful to keep her feet covered by the cloth she raised them up laying them next to Adrian's leg. Adrian reached over and took Natalie's right foot from beside him and moved it to rest in his lap. He then proceeded to rub her covered foot firmly and methodically. Natalie had not been expecting this, in fact, it surprised the hell out of her, but she wasn't going to be the one to turn down a free foot rub. Letting out a contented moan as Adrian's nimble fingers made quick work of the knots and aches in her soles. "That feels amazing, thank you."

"Good," Adrian smiled at the praise and grew more confident in his ministrations. After a minute, Adrian switched to rub Natalie's other foot, and when he felt that one was taken care of, he looked back up to her face only to see she had fallen back to sleep. Adrian knew he should have moved away, he should have shifted her feet off of his lap at least but he couldn't. Adrian told himself that it was just so he wouldn't wake her, that it had nothing to do with the way he was feeling. Adrian repeated these ideas in his brain as he allowed himself to lean more heavily on the armrest and let his other hand to drift, laying on her fabric-covered legs.

Natalie stirred slowly, her brain not quite awake, as if it was still stuck in the dream she couldn't quite remember. She did remember feeling warm and safe, unlike now. That must have been what woke her up, Natalie was freezing. As she grew more aware of her surroundings, Natalie realized she was shivering, she also noticed this was not her bed. Her eyes still unable to focus Natalie felt around finding a blanket near her waist, pulling on it she realized it was stuck somewhere. Finally opening her eyes, Natalie saw that the blanket was held under Adrian's arm, which rested firmly on her legs as he slept on the other side of the couch. Natalie knew she was not getting up, she was far too comfortable here. So instead she sat up just enough to turn her body around and to lay herself back down this time letting Adrian's arm be her pillow. As Natalie tucked the blanket around both of their bodies she took a moment to study his features softened by sleep, he really was a handsome man. Natalie wondered briefly if laying like this with him was okay, or if she was stepping over some boundaries but quickly dismissed these thoughts. They would be too cold if they didn't lay together like this, Natalie told herself. Her conscience eased with that flimsy rationalization Natalie let herself drift back to sleep, hoping that her dreams would be as good as her reality.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Here is chapter 3 it starts where the last one left off. Thank you so much for the reviews they are so sweet. If you guys have any thoughts, I love to hear them, good bad and in-between.

Adrian felt cozy, content, and carefree as he stirred as if all of his troubles had melted away. Adrian immediately opened his eyes to look for Trudy knowing that a visit from his wife had to be the reason for his unexpected delight. Adrian didn't find Trudy there with him. Instead, there was another blonde curled into his side. How had this happened? What had happened? At first Adrian couldn't remember. Then suddenly it came back to him, Natalie fell asleep as he was rubbing her feet and he had let himself stay there just resting his eyes for a moment. But how had they ended up like this, when he fell asleep Natalie was on the other side of the couch, of that he was certain. Well okay her feet had been in his lap, but that was it. Natalie must have moved over to his side of the couch. She probably shifted in her sleep, completely unaware of who she was with, or what she was doing. That didn't explain everything though, Adrian's arm was wrapped around her shoulder, holding her tiny form close to his side. 'That's natural' Adrian told himself, it was a completely normal, human response, humans had been huddling together in their sleep for millennia, it probably evolved from their need to stay warm and safe. It was instinct, that was all, there was no other reason that he and Natalie would cuddle up together in their sleep. But…

Adrian had been awake for a while now, at least ten minutes, and he still had not moved. He didn't try to pull away from the comfort of her body, he didn't remove the arm that was wrapped around her, his hand resting on the bare skin near her wrist. It is just because I don't want to wake her, Adrian reasoned with himself. She is always complaining that she has trouble sleeping, and she looks so contented right now, he didn't have the heart to disturb her. Adrian closed his eyes again, unwilling to take any other action at this time.

…

"Mr. Monk, what is this?" Natalie called as she walked through Adrian's apartment carrying a box.

"What does it look like?" Adrian asked with a twinkle in his eye when she found him in the dining room.

Natalie turned the box over, it was wrapped perfectly, but with plain white paper, there was no card, but there was a centered note on top folded perfectly in half that when opened just said 'To Natalie' in his precise printing. "It looks like it is for me, is it a gift?"

"Of course, it is."

"What is it for?" Natalie still turned the box in her hands as if a new angle would give her answers.

"No real reason," Adrian answered, "just open it."

Natalie tore the paper off only to find a shoebox, opening it up, Natalie was surprised to see slippers, nice, cozy, expensive-looking slippers, "you got me slippers."

"For when you are here," Adrian nodded, "you are here a lot at the end of your day, and your feet have been hurting, and since it has been getting colder, I thought you might want to keep them here."

Natalie dropped the slippers on the table and lunged forward capturing his body in a tight hug, "thank you, Adrian, you are so amazing." Natalie _had_ been spending more time at his house lately. Julie left for college just two weeks ago, and she no longer had a reason to rush home, nor a desire to be in her empty house. So, most nights when they were done for the day she stayed, they ate dinner together and read or watched movies, it was easy and comfortable, and neither one of them could think of a better way to spend their nights.

…

"Why did you get us a kids movie?" Adrian asked as he looked at the cover of the DVD case.

"It's not," Natalie defended, "Adrian pointed to the cartoon fish on the cover, "it's not just for kids, it is a good movie, plus I owned a copy. You will like it I promise, now go make us popcorn." Natalie gently pushed Adrian towards the kitchen. Natalie quickly put the movie in the DVD player and got comfortable on the couch. When Adrian returned with a bowl of popcorn, she lifted the blanket from his side of the sofa, and as he settled in, she moved it over his legs before he placed the popcorn between them on the coffee table. As Natalie watched Nemo's mother die, she felt no shame or embarrassment to cry in front of Adrian, just as it seemed natural when he pulled her into a sideways hug in comfort. Neither of them thought it was odd that they stayed in that position for the rest of the movie even as the credits rolled, they remained with Natalie leaning against Adrian's side.

"What did you think?" Natalie finally asked.

"You were right," Adrian admitted, "it is not just a kids movie."

"And?"

"I enjoyed it," Adrian admitted, "especially their friendship. I liked the blue fish, well not at first, I found her annoying in the beginning, but that speech she gave, 'and I look at you, and I'm home.' I wasn't expecting anything like that. I know that feeling." Natalie assumed Adrian was talking about Trudy, but he surprised her when he moved his hand on top of her own. "I'm home," Adrian repeated softly, "Natalie, you're my best friend."

"You're mine too," Natalie admitted linking their fingers together.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: I couldn't write over the weekend sorry. I should be back to a chapter almost every day until the story is done. Thank you to everyone that reviewed I love hearing what you think.

"Natalie, this is amazing thank you," Adrian said, looking over the set table.

"It was nothing," Natalie ducked her head to hide the fact that her cheeks turned the palest pink at his praise.

"It isn't nothing," Adrian insisted, "you should know I appreciate it. I loved the party last year, but I think once was enough. This is more my speed."

"Well, forewarning, there are presents and cheesecake for after dinner," Natalie said, "there may even be some candles."

"As long as there is not one for each year, I think I will be fine," Adrian smiled. He couldn't believe Natalie had done this for him again, two years in a row, despite his objections, Natalie gave him what he didn't even know he wanted. If he had been honest with himself when Natalie had asked what he wanted for his birthday, this would have been it, a nice dinner with Natalie. It was true they ate together most nights now, but Adrian noticed the extra care Natalie had taken with this meal. She had made some of his favorite dishes, she even took the time to ensure that the vegetables were cut into perfect cubes. The party last year had been amazing, but Adrian much preferred the idea of a quiet dinner with Natalie alone.

…

"So, where does this rank in birthdays?" Natalie asked as she picked at the tiny bits of cheesecake left on her plate.

"It may be even better than last year," Adrian admitted, "definitely one of the best I ever had."

"I know you didn't have good birthdays as a child, but what about with Trudy?" Natalie wondered.

"They were good," a smile spread across Adrian's face as he remembered. "They were more like this one. Trudy never pushed the issue, so we would celebrate just the two of us, she wasn't much of a cook, so usually we went out to eat, she didn't want me cooking for us on my own birthday, I always told her I didn't mind. I was just happy to be with her."

"That is nice," Natalie said, "it was like that with Mitch too. I was so happy when he was home, I didn't care about what we did for our birthdays. One year he threw me a surprise party though, it was great. Believe it or not, I had a lot of bad associations with birthday parties too, then for my twenty-fifth birthday, he threw me this party with all of our friends. It was so great; I think it was the first time I had felt that much love from so many people. That is probably why I wanted to throw you that party last year, I wanted you to have that feeling too."

"I did," Adrian said, then shifted, "I am sorry you had bad birthdays before."

"Oh, it was nothing," Natalie dismissed.

"What happened?"

"You don't want to hear about this, Adrian," Natalie brushed off.

"I do," Adrian reached over and took Natalie's hand in his, "please?"

"It was nothing horrible," Natalie said, "actually most people would probably have loved it. I got big expensive gifts every year, and most years there was an elaborate party."

"But…" Adrian prodded gently.

"Well for my ninth birthday there were almost no children, there was a party, but it was an adult party with canapés and business associates instead of friends and cake. Then the next year there was an actual kids party, but they invited the children from the wealthiest families instead of the ones I was friends with. This bully from school was there and called me Nasty Natalie the entire time. And the year after that they couldn't make it."

"What?"

"When I turned eleven, there was a party, and they let me invite anyone from my class that I wanted," Natalie explained, "but they were out of town. My nanny did the whole thing. My parents were gone that entire week, my father had a business trip, and my mother went with him because 'she needed a break.' It was just my parents never seemed to love me, not enough to let my birthday be about me anyway."

"I am sorry," Adrian sympathized, "you deserve to be happy every day, especially on your birthdays."

"Once I met Mitch, I had good ones," Natalie said, "and this year I had a lot of fun."

"Good," Adrian said proudly. With Julie gone at college, Adrian had planned something for Natalie's birthday this year. He had just organized a small dinner with their close friends, and he was touched that Natalie enjoyed it.

"Well, it is about ten, we had dinner and cake and presents," Natalie said, "two hours left for your birthday, is there anything else you want?"

Adrian looked at Natalie and thought about what else he could want but immediately felt guilty for having those thoughts, there was one thing he was willing to ask for, "stay? I don't want today to end with me alone in this house."

"Of course, I am staying," Natalie said, "I was already planning on staying late, I even brought movies, do you want me to pop one in?" Adrian nodded happily. He ran into the kitchen and got another slice of cheesecake with two forks before joining Natalie in the living room. She was already settled on her side of the couch; she had the big blanket draped over her and a spot ready for him.

Soon after Adrian settled in and they started the movie, Natalie was leaning on his side with his arm wrapped around her. The pair did not make it until midnight, they didn't even make it until the end of the movie before they were both asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: This one picks up right where the last chapter left off. Thank you to everyone that reviewed, just a few chapters left with this, let me know what you think.

Adrian and Natalie had let themselves relax in the comfort they felt cuddled up together on the couch, while noise on the television set faded into the background and they succumb to the pull of sleep. They were woken when the television switched over to grey fuzz a while after the credits had finished rolling. Adrian stretched his neck while Natalie fumbled to find the remote and turn the tv off, neither one of them disturbing the way they were positioned. No matter how many aches it caused the next day, they both not so secretly loved when they fell asleep on the couch, and Adrian didn't intend to go anywhere. He looked down at the woman beside him, there was just enough light to make out her delicate features, she was so lovely. Natalie looked up at Adrian to find him already staring at her, their faces inches apart. Neither one turned away, neither one of them spoke as their faces moved closer together. They stopped, their lips just an inch or two apart, they both stopped, so close to crossing that line.

Natalie had enough of that line, she was tired of pretending this wasn't more than it was, she was tired of denying what she really wanted, so she didn't. Natalie moved her head the extra inch, closing the space between them and letting her lips make contact with Adrian's for the first time. The kiss was so soft and gentle and fast, Adrian wondered briefly if he had imagined it. This time it was Adrian that moved, he pressed his lips against hers more firmly, and she immediately responded moving her lips against his. Natalie's head was swimming, Adrian was kissing her, _really_ kissing her, and it was incredible. Her whole body was tingling, and she felt a little dizzy, overwhelmed by the emotions and physical feelings of the moment. After a minute, the kiss ended naturally, and Natalie looked up in Adrian's eyes. She could tell that he had liked the kiss, but she also could see that he was torn, confused even. Natalie smiled slightly at Adrian, she understood that this was a big step for him and she didn't want to push it. She moved her body out of Adrian's embrace and off the couch stretching out her limbs as she did.

Adrian got himself up off the couch as well standing a few feet away from the woman he had just kissed, a woman that wasn't Trudy. How could he kiss Natalie, how could he do that to Trudy? How could he want nothing more than to do it again? Adrian's mind was going a mile a minute, but it seemed to be going in circles, and his thoughts made little sense to him. "Natalie?"

"It's getting late," Natalie said, "we don't have to talk about this now, okay?" Adrian nodded gratefully. "I think I am going to head home tonight though." Adrian didn't know how he felt about that. He liked it when Natalie stayed at his place, he liked knowing as he slept that she was there in the next room. But honestly, with how confused he felt right now, Adrian knew it would be better if he were alone tonight.

Natalie gathered her things quietly as Adrian hovered nearby. Finally, at the door, Natalie smiled as she took off her slippers and put them in their spot under the table before putting on her heels. Adrian helped Natalie into her coat and allowed himself to hug her goodnight. "I had a great day, Natalie, thank you."

"I did too," Natalie smiled, "Happy Birthday Adrian.

"Thank you," Adrian smiled and ducked his head shyly.

"I will see you tomorrow," Natalie promised, "okay?"

Adrian nodded softly, "Goodnight, Natalie."

"Goodnight," Natalie responded before slipping out of the door.

As he closed the door, Adrian let his hand rest on it and momentarily laid his forehead on the cold, hard, wood surface. He wished Natalie could have stayed, he was worried that he ruined everything by kissing her. But she had kissed him, Natalie had started it. He felt his heart speed up knowing that Natalie wanted to kiss him, and then Adrian thought of Trudy and the guilt washed over him. Adrian trudged into his bedroom and took his Trudy pillow out of the closet opening the plastic case to take a deep breath before closing it again to preserve the precious object. Falling into bed, a jumble of thoughts and feelings that he could not make sense of Adrian tried to push it all out of his mind, but he knew sleep would be near impossible this night.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Thank you so much for all the reviews please let me know what you think, I will try to have the next chapter up tomorrow but I am very busy the next few days so I will do my best but no guarantees.

Awkward, there was no other word for it but awkward. It had been three days since Adrian's birthday, and they still hadn't talked about it. There had been no more kissing, and they had both been cautious around each other and kept their distance. There were still movies but they were careful to sit on separate couches. When Adrian talked to Natalie, he was polite, and formal.

Adrian didn't seem to want to talk about it, it was like he thought if they didn't talk about it then he could pretend that it didn't happen, back when things were easier and he was happy. But it did happen, and every time he got too close or found himself admiring Natalie, the guilt took over and forced him to stay away.

Natalie wanted to talk about it, she wanted to know how Adrian was feeling about it, and about her, but she sensed that Adrian wanted to pretend nothing happened. And Natalie knew that when she pushed Adrian to do something before he was ready, it didn't end well.

As she drove them to the crime scene, they were silent. For seven years she had driven Adrian around in this car, and it had never been silent. At least soon they would be working on a case, and focused on something else, and that might be just what they needed to get past this. Natalie pulled her car into a space next to two cruisers, and they both got out looking for the Captain.

As soon as the pair found Leland, he filled them in with what he knew quickly as Adrian raised his hands and started to examine the area.

Leland raised an eye from his notepad and studied the scene in front of him. What he should have been studying was the murder; instead he found himself investigating the man he had called in to help solve the case and his Assistant. Adrian had been there for about ten minutes now with Natalie in tow. He had been pacing around the crime scene talking about what he noticed as he peered through his fingers, while the Captain recorded it all in his notes. Adrian was so focused on what he was looking at that he didn't notice how close to Natalie he had gotten, that is until she took a few steps back putting distance between them. Adrian's focus suddenly shifted away from the clues of the murder, to his friend. He stopped talking mid-sentence and just looked at Natalie, he looked stunned and hurt, he hated the distance between them. Captain Stottlemeyer saw all of this happen, he didn't know what was causing them to act this way, but he knew damn well that it needed to get fixed and now.

"Monk," Leland barked, "come with me." The Captain grabbed Monk's arm, not giving him a choice as he dragged him away, away from the other cops, away from the scene of the crime and away from Natalie. He noticed that the pair had been a little off since they got here, but that was clearly more than a little off. "All right what did you do?"

"What are you talking about?"

"What did you do to Natalie?" The captain asked, "I just thought you guys were having a little fight, but a blind man could see this is more than a little fight, what did you do to that girl?"

"I didn't do anything," Adrian defended.

"Did you forget to do something? Did you not pay her?" The captain tried, "did you call her dumb?"

"Don't say that," Adrian snapped, "Natalie isn't dumb."

"She isn't," Leland agreed, "All right, so you didn't do anything like that, but Monk I know you did something. And do you know what you have to do now, you have to fix it. Apologize and make it right, that woman is so good to you, you need to talk to her and find out what you did, then fix it, or you could lose her."

"We will be fine," Adrian tried, "we just need a little time."

"Time is the last thing you need," Leland warned, "trust me here Monk, I know women. Time will just let things fester and get worse. Time leads to space and then it's all over. Trust me Monk, I have screwed up enough to know when something is really wrong. Talk to her, fix it," Leland reemphasized as he stalked away, back to the crime scene.

Adrian walked back to the crime scene in a state of bewilderment, was Leland right, could he really lose Natalie? He didn't want to lose her but he could feel it happening, there was now space between them, a space that hadn't been there for a long time. They had grown so close over the last year or so and Adrian couldn't imagine losing that, or going back to just being her employer. Truthfully, he had no idea what they were, or what they could be, but he knew he couldn't lose her.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: So this was the scene I initially thought of that started this whole story for me. Please don't kill me. This is not the last chapter; there are two or three left after this that I am currently writing, and I should have one up in the next day or two. Thank you to all of my reviewers. I would love to hear from people for this chapter, in particular, it is the first time I have written something like this chapter, I am curious how you think I did with it.

"What was that about today?" Natalie asked as they worked to prepare dinner. "It was the first thing that Natalie said to Adrian in over half an hour.

"With Leland?" Natalie nodded. "He thought we were fighting," Adrian admitted, "he told me to fix it, to talk to you, he thought I did something wrong."

Natalie let out a heavy sigh, "you didn't do anything wrong, Adrian."

"I know, and we aren't fighting," Adrian said, "so we don't need to talk."

"We _do_ need to talk," Natalie stressed. "Adrian, I can't do this anymore, I can't pretend nothing happened."

"Natalie, I don't know if," Adrian hesitated.

"I have feelings for you, Adrian," Natalie cut him off in a hurry then paused momentarily. Natalie was so quiet Adrian could barely hear her, "I love you, Adrian, I want to be with you, the kiss wasn't just some random accident. I think you love me too, Adrian, I know you feel it too," she implored.

"I do," Adrian croaked out, "I have feelings, I don't know what they are exactly, but I know there are feelings there." Adrian watched as a smile started to spread across Natalie's face, and for the first time in a very long time, it didn't make him feel better, in fact, it broke his heart. Adrian struggled to continue, "but Natalie, I can't, I am sorry but I can't. I am already married to Trudy."

"You were married," Natalie sympathized, "but you are a widow, just like me, Adrian. If it is wrong for you to move on, does that mean it is wrong for me too? Are you saying that I was wrong to date other men since Mitch passed?" Natalie challenged, becoming more and more upset as Adrian remained silent, "am I cheating on Mitch? Am I supposed to spend the rest of my life alone?"

"No, no, no, you didn't do anything wrong," Adrian tried to calm Natalie and explain his thinking, "but I took a vow to be faithful to Trudy, till death do us part."

"She _is_ dead," Natalie exploded, "death departed you over a decade ago!" Taking a deep breath, Natalie realized she was shaking. After a few moments, Natalie calmed enough to realize what she had just said and felt guilty instantly, "I'm sorry Adrian, I didn't mean to sound so harsh but,"

"It's okay," Adrian said, "but I'm not dead, Natalie. I still love Trudy; I am still married to Trudy. When I married her, I promised I would love her for the rest of my life, and I am still here, that hasn't changed."

"So, you don't want this?" Natalie asked, voice shaking.

"I'm not saying I don't want this, or you, but it's not about what I want," Adrian tried to explain. "I can't. I'm sorry, it's just not who I am."

Natalie didn't move, not even to breath, it was if she was frozen in that horrible moment where nothing but pain existed. Finally, the world started moving again, and the tears that had been threatening for a while fell leaving silent, salty, bitter paths down her cheeks. Eventually Natalie's body forced her to take one long shuddering breath. "It is who I am," she whispered. Natalie's tongue darted across her dry lips as if to ease the pain of her words. "I want to be with someone who will love me. I want that kind of relationship, and I need to find a person who can love me in return."

"I understand." And Adrian did understand, he didn't like it, but he did want Natalie to be happy, and he knew this was what she needed to make that happen.

"Adrian, things between us are going to change, I can't be with you like this," Natalie waved her hand around gesturing to themselves and all they shared, "if there isn't more to it. It hurts too much."

"I didn't want to hurt you."

"I know," Natalie conceded, "it isn't your fault, I'm not trying to punish you, Adrian. I can still be your assistant, but I need to take a step back. I need some distance between us if I am going to move on."

"I don't want distance," Adrian admitted.

"But you don't want me either," Natalie let out a tiny shuddering sob. Adrian tried to step forward and hold her as he had grown so accustomed to, but she immediately put her hand up and took a step back. "Adrian, please, I can't live in between, I can't be so close to you, but not be with you."

"Are we still friends?" Adrian asked, hopefully.

"We will always be friends," Natalie said, "but it won't be quite the same."

"I understand," Adrian nodded stoically.

"You do?"

"No," he admitted, "I hate this, but I understand that you are hurt, and more than anything I want you to be happy, so if I can't give you what you want, the least I can do is give you what you need."


	8. Chapter 8

AN: two chapters to go after this and they already have a rough draft so they should be up in the next few days when they are done, I plan to go back to my other story. Please let me know what you think.

Adrian didn't leave his apartment for the next two days. He missed Natalie terribly, without her there, everything seemed pointless, he didn't have the strength to go out, to clean, or eat, and even breathing had become unmanageable. Adrian had been up for the last two days straight and had done nothing. He had tried at one point to look through his old photo albums, memories of Trudy had always soothed Adrian in the past, but now it just reminded him of what happened with Natalie, and he felt a fresh wave of pain wash over him until he was sure that he would drown in his sorrows and no one, not Trudy, or Natalie, would be able to save him.

Natalie wasn't doing any better than Adrian. Thirteen years after Mitch had passed, Natalie had finally found love again, but Adrian didn't want her in return. Natalie was humiliated and simply devastated. Natalie didn't know what to do, normally when she was hurting, she would talk to a friend, but now her best friend had become Adrian, and she couldn't talk to him

On the third day, Natalie applied her makeup carefully, after two days of crying there were dark circles under her eyes, and she couldn't let Adrian see that. Natalie was determined to go back to work today as if nothing had happened, as if she was okay. Natalie concealed under her eyes and over her cheeks, using powder to set her mask in place.

"Natalie!" Adrian greeted enthusiastically as she walked in the door. Natalie detected a note of surprise in his voice as if he hadn't trusted that she would ever return.

"Good morning Mr. Monk," Natalie returned with as much cheer as she could muster. She didn't miss the hurt that crossed Adrian's face at her greeting, he looked as if she had struck him. It had been months since Natalie had last addressed him by his last name and they both felt the effects. This apparently was how it was going to be. Natalie felt terrible that he was hurting. She didn't want to hurt Adrian, she loved him, but this was the most she could manage.

For the next week the pair progressed this way, distant, formal, and clearly hurting. Natalie knew with time it would get easier, at least she hoped that it would, but sometimes now Adrian would look at her with such longing in his eyes, and it would tare her up inside.

…

"So, Monk," Captain Stottlemeyer tried, "what do you think?" Adrian and Natalie had met Leland at the crime scene over twenty minutes ago, and the Captain was not pleased by their attitudes. Natalie and Monk looked horrible, whatever fight they had been having a week ago was still going on, and it seemed as if it was ripping them apart.

"I don't know," Adrian said, "the money is missing, it could be a robbery."

"Monk, if it was a robbery, wouldn't they have taken her watch and jewelry too?" Leland eyed his friend.

"Oh yeah," Adrian agreed, "I should have seen that."

Leland was overcome by a sense of deja vu when he pulled Adrian's arm leading him away from another crime scene. "What is the matter with you?"

"I'm sorry, Captain," Monk apologized, "I just haven't gotten much sleep lately."

"Are you still fighting with Natalie?" Leland asked, "I told you to talk to her, why didn't you fix it."

"We aren't fighting," Adrian huffed out a breath in exasperation. "I did talk to her though, there just isn't a way to fix it."

"There has to be a way," Leland said, "just apologize and be nice, I am sure you can fix it. Do you want to lose her?"

"No," Adrian said, "I don't want to lose her, but maybe that would be best for her."

"Yeah, because Natalie looks like she is doing great," Leland answered sarcastically. "Seriously, Monk, I don't know what is going on, but you and Natalie have gotten so close, I would hate to see that all come to an end."

"Maybe it has, too," Adrian said, "maybe that is what is best."

"I don't believe that," Leland said, "that just sounds like you are too afraid you will fail. Friendships can be tough sometimes Monk, she is worth it though, don't be afraid, fight for her."

"I am doing the best I can, Leland," Adrian admitted with a sigh.

"Okay," Leland relented, "and hey Monk, if you need someone, if you want to talk about it, I'm here."

"Thanks."

…

Adrian was still sitting at his desk looking at the crime scene. He hated that there was something he was missing, Adrian hated that he couldn't make sense of things the way he usually did, it was like he was broken. Adrian had felt like he was broken for most of his life, but this was different. No matter how low Adrian had been in the past, no matter how defective he was in the rest of his life, he had always been an extraordinary detective. Now, this pain had taken even that from him.

Giving up on finding anything new, Adrian stretched and made his way into the living room. There he was greeted by the sight of Natalie sleeping on the couch. She was perched against the armrest one-foot underneath her body and the other one dangling beneath her, book still perched in her lap. Adrian wanted nothing more than to go sit on that couch with Natalie, he longed to feel her weight on top of his side and her soft breath against his cheek once again. He missed the smell of her neck, warm and sweet surrounding him, inviting him to snuggle closer. Natalie shifted in her sleep breaking Adrian's spell; she couldn't wake up to find him staring at her like this. Adrian took one last look at the reminder of the life he could have had before backing away. 


	9. Chapter 9

AN: Okay the penultimate chapter, thank you so much to everyone that reviewed, I hope you like it.

"Come on," Natalie said softly at the back of the courtroom, "let's go home."

Adrian had to testify today. He hated testifying. Although he had not lost a case since Powell, Adrian still hated to testify. He had to remember to not straighten anything, to smile, to act "normal." It was definitely the part of his job he disliked the most. Adrian followed Natalie out of the courthouse and to her car where she drove him home in silence.

"Alright," Natalie said a minute after they were in the door, "I made you a casserole of macaroni and cheese, I thought you could use that tonight. Just put it in the oven to heat it up, and you should be all set."

"You're going?" This was the first time Adrian had to testify since everything had happened between them. He tried to understand that Natalie needed space, but he desperately wanted her to stay after the day he had.

"It's six, Mr. Monk," Natalie said, "time for me to go home."

"You could stay and eat dinner with me," Adrian tried.

Natalie looked down and took a few deep breaths, "I don't think that is a good idea."

"I hate this," Adrian finally admitted.

"I do too," Natalie agreed, "but what are we supposed to do about it, Adrian?"

"I miss you, Natalie, I want you back," Adrian's voice broke slightly.

"I am still here," Natalie argued I haven't gone anywhere.

"No, you're not," Adrian disagreed.

"I still see you every day," Natalie defended herself, "I hand you wipes, and go with you to crime scenes, and kill the spiders, I run your errands, I bring bubble wrap to the grocery store for your produce, I am an amazing assistant, and I have stayed here with you, no matter how hard it has been for me."

"You call me Mr. Monk," Adrian argued, "and you never stay for dinner, and we don't watch movies or talk."

"We talk all the time."

"Not like before," Adrian disagreed, "You don't tell me stories or talk about how things are with Julie, I never know what is going on in your head anymore. And you _so_ careful not to touch me anymore."

Natalie balked, "you hate when people touch you."

"Not you," Adrian said honestly. "I just hate this, I miss you, I miss my friend. I miss reading with you on the couch, and I miss watching movies with you and you wearing your slippers…"

"I can't wear my slippers," Natalie snapped, "because you gave them to me. And I can't hang out and talk to you like we used to, and we can't cuddle and watch movies, don't you get it? This is killing me, Adrian! I hate this too, but this is as much as I can take."

"I'm sorry," Adrian breathed out in defeat, he didn't want to hurt her. "I wish I could just go back," Adrian tried, and Natalie immediately started shaking her head, not wanting to listen to this. "I made a mistake, Natalie, and I'm sorry, I just wish we could go back to that night, and I could fix this."

"Well, you can't go back," Natalie shook her head harder. "And as horrible as this is, it's worse knowing you want to take it back, I can't believe you would say that to me."

"I didn't mean to hurt you," Adrian said, "honestly, I thought you would be happy, I thought you would want to change this too."

"Adrian, as bad as this is, I don't regret the kiss," Natalie admitted, not bothering to wipe the wet tears off her face. "I love you, and that moment was wonderful, I don't want to undo it."

"Not the kiss," Adrian said, stunned, "that is what I have been trying to tell you. I miss what we were, and I want to go back to it. I don't want to take back the kiss Natalie, I want to take back everything after it."

"What?"

"I want to go back to that night and kiss you again, and not let you leave," Adrian moved closer to Natalie and this time she didn't step away. "I want to go back there and tell you how much I love you."

"You love me?" Natalie asked confused hope written across her features

"I love you," Adrian repeated before leaning down and kissing her softly.

"Wait," Natalie said as the kiss ended, "what about everything you said that night? What about Trudy."

"I still love Trudy," Adrian admitted, "don't you still love Mitch?" At Natalie's nod, Adrian continued, "and I still feel guilty about this, about moving on. But I learned something the past two weeks, I can live with the guilt, but I can't live without you. Natalie, you are more important to me than any of my issues, I love you, and I need you."

"Okay," Natalie nodded a smile spreading across her face.

"Okay?"

"Okay, we can go back," Natalie said, "I give you a do-over for that night."

Adrian smiled and hugged Natalie tightly, "stay?" Adrian whispered before pulling back just enough to move his lips to Natalie's, kissing her desperately, "stay forever?"

"Yes, please," Natalie smiled, then quickly pecked a kiss to Adrian's lips once again.

Adrian and Natalie settled down on the couch where they stayed up all night watching movies, talking, and spending time in the safety of each other's arms. Adrian didn't know what was expected of him now, or how things were going to work, but he also knew they had the rest of their lives together to figure it all out.

AN: So the original scene I thought of for this entire story was the idea that they would fall in love, but Adrian couldn't do it. But I knew I couldn't end it that way, real life is so seldomly happy, I like that my fiction is. I struggled for a long time with how to get them together, I specifically didn't want him to get the okay from Trudy, or to pretend that he was magically over her. I wanted instead for him to realize that it will be a struggle, but Natalie is worth it, because honestly isn't that kind of what we all want someone to think about us.


	10. Chapter 10

AN: So here it is the last chapter, thank you to all my readers and reviewers. Now that this is done, I am going to go back to working on Time to change. I hope you guys liked the story, let me know what you think.

One Day Later:

"Good morning," Adrian murmured as he fought to open his eyes.

"It is," Natalie giggled slightly and squirmed around in his arms. They had fallen asleep together on the couch, and although they had aches and pains from staying in those positions all night this was the most comfortable either had been in years. Natalie leaned up moving her mouth closer to Adrian's, but he instantly pulled away.

A look of confusion and fear quickly clouded Natalie's formerly sunny expression, and Adrian hurried to fix the misunderstanding, "I need to brush my teeth," he explained quickly. "Just let me brush my teeth, then I will be more than happy to kiss you."

"I don't care about morning breath," Natalie called as Adrian got up from the couch and headed to the bathroom.

Adrian stopped and turned, looking back at Natalie sitting on the couch, he didn't know how he had gotten so lucky once again. "Well I do care about morning breath. Give me five minutes then I promise we can spend the rest of the day kissing."

"I'm going to hold you to that," Natalie shouted down the hall to Adrian's retreating form.

…

One week later:

"Good morning," Captain Stottlemeyer greeted the pair as they made their way over to him.

"Good morning," Natalie cheerfully replied.

"Morning," Adrian echoed with a smile on his face, "what do we have here?"

"Double homicide," Leland answered. Looking at the scene, Adrian and Natalie stopped smiling, and Adrian immediately got to work.

Half an hour later, Adrian saw everything he wanted to at the crime scene and decided to go back to the police station to look through some of their leads, "Natalie, Adrian is going to ride with me," Leland informed her, "can you meet us there?"

"Um sure," Natalie said uncertainly, then turned to Adrian and shrugged before getting into her car alone.

"So I see the fight is over," Leland said as soon as Monk had fastened his seatbelt.

Adrian let out a sigh, "I told you we weren't fighting."

"Well whatever it was," Leland dismissed, "it's good now, right? You seem better, so I am assuming the two of you kissed and made up."

Adrian coughed at the phrase Leland had chosen, "you um, you could say that."

"Ha," Captain Stottlemeyer barked out his distinctive single chuckle. "I knew it, Randy owes me 50 bucks."

"What?"

"You and Natalie, you finally did it?" Leland assumed, "you kissed her."

"I did," Adrian ducked his head and blushed. "We are um, dating, or a couple or whatever you would call it."

"Well, congratulations you are one lucky son of a gun," Leland smiled at his oldest friend. "And I was right that is what all of this turmoil has been about."

"Yes," Adrian admitted, "we had some trouble getting to where we are now. Well, I had some trouble. If you knew, why didn't you say anything."

"I don't know," Leland admitted, "I think I was afraid I would make it worse if you weren't ready to talk about it."

"Well, thank you, I wasn't."

"No problem," Leland said, "but what I said is true, you are lucky to have her in your life Monk, don't screw it up."

"I will try not to," Adrian agreed, "I love her."

"That's good, Monk," Leland said, "love is good."

…

"So, what did he want?" Natalie asked pulling Adrian to the side before he could walk into the police station.

"Oh nothing," Adrian leaned over and kissed Natalie softly, "just congratulations, really."

…

One month later:

"Good morning," Adrian's voice was soft and rough like gravel and honey.

"Morning," Natalie whispered her reply as she turned in his arms to face the man she loved. Wrapping her arms around his torso, she loved the feel of his warm skin against her own.

"How do you feel?" Adrian asked apprehensively. Last night had been their one-month anniversary, and Adrian had surprised Natalie by asking her to stay the night, not on the couch, but in his bed with him. Natalie was surprised that he was ready for that big of a step in their relationship but was more than happy to comply.

"Perfect," Natalie smiled and stretched forward to kiss him. "Last night was wonderful, Adrian," she assured him. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Adrian leaned down and kissed her once again.

…

One year later:

"Good morning," Natalie whispered softly into Adrian's ear then moved to kiss the skin just below his earlobe tenderly.

"Good morning, my love," Adrian murmured and slowly opened his eyes. Looking down at the beautiful woman lying in his arms, Adrian's heart was filled with so much love he thought it would soon burst. "So, it's been about nineteen hours now," he looked over at the clock on their nightstand, "what do you think of married life so far?"

"It's not bad," Natalie said with a smile, "we got a bunch of shiny new gifts."

"Yes, but eventually those gifts will get old, maybe even break," Adrian said, "but you will still be stuck with me."

Natalie leaned up and kissed her new husband deeply, "I better be."


End file.
